I’ve been passionate about a lot of things. The most consistent part of my life that has held my passion, is medicine, the art and practice of medicine. I have worked in various capacities of the medical field for over 20 years. I always thought it would be my career calling, to take care of people, to watch them heal.
Caring for Covid-19 patients left deep..jagged.. scars on my heart. I woke up from nightmares of the death of my patients, watching their bodies finally give out after days of fighting. We went almost three months without a single person coming off the ventilator alive during one particularly painful stretch.
As the daily heaviness of Covid-19 patients began to lighten, I found myself tired, tired of taking care of people, tired of feeling and watching. Counseling didn’t take away that weariness of wondering if this was what I was meant to do with my life. Talking exhaustively with coworkers and friends didn’t change my pull away from medicine. Stress leave didn’t help, six months off for surgeries didn’t help. I began to come to work realizing there is more that I want to do, besides medicine. That perhaps my torch had been carried through the months of Covid-19 patients, that maybe I needed to look for another way to live out my passion, to find my passion again.
I’m an artist, so I create things. I tried a few directions, but kept coming back to food, to my passion for food to be healing and uplifting. I love exquisite food experiences and ways of searching out ingredients. I love the way that food dances and plays around with your eyes and taste buds. In traveling, I love how food expresses the soul of it’s location, how the pride is displayed in those who share their food.
I’m still wielding this passion, savoring it to figure out what I want to do with it. It’s uncomfortable still. But I would love to make beautiful food and share it with the world.
Fireshifter Food 